


The Light. The Way.

by relic_amaranth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 17:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17329478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relic_amaranth/pseuds/relic_amaranth
Summary: Sometimes, Gabriel forgets how to breathe. Sam helps, whether he knows it or not.





	The Light. The Way.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what this is. I just wanted to play with words, I guess. Title consists of pieces of lyrics from “Break Angels” by AFI, which struck me as a very Gabriel song, and then Sabriel happened.

 

Sometimes, Gabriel forgets how to breathe.

It’s ridiculous; he doesn’t _have_ to breathe. But try reminding yourself of that when you’re gasping for air next to a partner who makes you forget who and what you are.

“Good?” Sam asks.

Gabriel could say that. But the high is fading and he turns his head to smirk at Sam, and hopes he won't ask. He doesn’t– he talks a good game, but Sam is only human, and Gabriel is so much more. No matter how he sometimes wishes he wasn’t.

When Gabriel stopped looking for a father who didn’t want to be found, he looked for Him in His creations. It was hard to be impressed when he was so bitter. Gabriel wanted to find humans unworthy, to point at the lot and find nothing to love. But when he couldn’t do that, he tried to lose himself in all of the immediate pleasures he could find; all of the good. Even though the ‘good’ was more like stuffing balled up papers into a sinkhole. Sure, with enough time you could theoretically fill the void, but it doesn’t really do anything and it won’t hold up to much.

“I love you,” Sam whispers, once again becoming the bucket of water that upends over the chasm and turns all of Gabriel’s paper filling to disintegrating mush. Sam rolls over, crushing Gabriel with his body and yet not, and Gabriel shuts his eyes in bliss. Sam rests his mouth next to Gabriel’s ear and repeats the words over and over and over, until sleep finally claims him, because while Sam can give as good as he gets, in the end he’s only human.

Only human. Frail and fragile and ultimately very biodegradable. Gabriel could hold him in one of his many-clawed hands and see him with eyes that see all. And yet Sam is the little thing that threw a rock in the eye of the apocalypse, for reasons many, and Gabriel knows, _knows_ that if he were to Truly look at Sam, he would love all of him just as much as he already does.

Gabriel runs his hands though soft hair and feels all of it. His father’s love was unconditional but, in a way, became meaningless for it. Sam’s love is a choice, born of a connection forged because of and despite the shit in their past, and earned through commitment to see this through. It’s not perfect– Sam has plenty of his own issues to deal with, and Gabriel knows that they’ll never be a therapist’s poster for a well-balanced, happy, healthy relationship. But what they have, they make work.

“I love you,” Gabriel whispers to his sleeping partner and presses a kiss to his temple. The light in the room is dim and Sam’s face is slack as he sleeps, relaxed and warm and happy in this room with a creature who could annihilate him with a thought, who at one time did worse and made his life a living hell. And yet, Sam’s mouth is parted with heavy breaths, his limbs are loose, and his hair drapes over the relaxing lines of his eyes.

Sometimes, Gabriel forgets how to breathe. However, sometimes that’s all right.

He just has to look to Sam to remember how.


End file.
